... dare say, m'darlins, that this here sleep deprivation is makin' me a bit of a loon.

Spent a good 5 minutes looking for the can of coconut juice I just bought (or heaven-juice, as some would say - and by some I mean me).

Couldn't find it. Getting frustrated.

Found it. I couldn't see it before, because it was sitting (mocking me I say, mocking meee) behind a jug of water.

A clear jug of water.





Meeting at 1. Time to hit the reset button again.

... to my sister for getting ABBB for her AS Results (: No doubt she'll be resitting to secure a triple-ace title in A Levels next year. At least she only has the comparison to my paltry AS- and A-Level results. My AS results had the glorious timing of coming out right after my brother's AAAA in A-Levels. Oooooh should've seen the expression my parents had when I told them what I got haha.

Another good reason to tell people about the injection story [refer to post entitled "Yes..." on August 17th].

Buuut at least this might mean we can have a 5x Scholarship combo (: 7x if you include my parents. 8x if you include my cat.

No, seriously.

Hahaha.

I would sooo pay 3 payments of $28.95 for a can of Hair In A Can :B

... a short update on my piercings:

As per last time, my vertical labret is doing well and good; it looked a bit odd at first when my piercer put in a bar with a much longer post than the regular ones, but my lip's swollen a bit to have the ball on either end sitting quite nicely on it. It's like having collagen pumped into them, as if I needed it in the first place (haha). Eating is fine, although I forgot about it last night when I tried to bite into a pear. Let's just say I may have to channel Edward Scissorhands for the next few weeks until I change into a shorter bar.

My dermal anchor was a bit more of a princess, but I'm sure it's only because of its location. I'm a side sleeper, so I had to prop my head up with my arm, which makes my arm feel like it forgot how to circulate blood by the next morning. But then again, I had to do the same thing when I got my cartilage piercings, so I'll just have to get used to that, too. Besides that, I've had to keep a patch over it to keep constant pressure so the anchor will lay flat against my cheek; since I don't have any patches like the one my piercer put on me, I've had to rely on good old Band-Aid. Much less discreet, but it's not like I go out all that much around here. And so far the stories I've been giving people who ask me why I have a Band-Aid on my face makes me out to be quite the vigilante. Which beats being called a douche.

I was reading up a bit more on dermal achors, and apparently they aren't actually piercings; piercings entail defined areas of entry and exit, and you can remove it completely, as is the case with lobes, nose, tongue, lip, and surface piercings. For dermal anchors, however, the process involves creating a small slit or hole in the skin, and slipping the anchor into the pocket created. The holes in the anchor itself allow tissue to grow through it when it heals, which "anchors" it into place. But basically, since you don't remove the anchor itself, and only change the internally threaded tops, it's considered a body modification. Kind of like getting an implant, I suppose.

Amongst all the piercings I've gotten, this is definitely not the most painful. I suppose if I were to make a list of ratings from 1 to 10, one being "I couldn't feel it at all" and ten being "[insert profanity here]", it'd be (choronologically):

Lobe: 2
Cartilage: 7
Tragus: 3
Tongue: 3
Nose: 5
Lip: 7
Vertical tragus: 3
Dermal anchor: 5

Mind you, these figures would obviously vary according to your own body, and your threshold of pain. I'm sure some of you probably have cartilage and/or nose piercings that didn't hurt as much as I make it seem they did. Obviously, that's good news if you feel like getting your face stabbed. But these are pretty relative to each other. Plus, every piercing (in my opinion, at least) touches on a different kind of pain; I say cartilage piercings are the most painful not because of that burning sensation you feel when you get it done - that's fine with me - the painful bits is when:

a) you get it caught on your hair;
b) you sleep on your side;
c) [or] it gets infected;
d) you apply pressure to it.

Option D includes hugging. Which I hope explains the grimace on my face when someone comes running and wraps their arms around me while my ears beg for mercy. But that's something people should definitely be aware of before getting them done. But the infection one is the biggest bitch, bar none. And I'm basing this from experience, from when I woke up one morning, and I couldn't see the jewel end of my piercing, but the back was still there. I thought it had broken and the jewel had fallen off, but it didn't explain why I couldn't seem to pull out the back. A few days later, the same happened to the other one (I opted for two on the same ear to be done one after the other). To my knowledge they hadn't gotten infected, and I cleaned them as I was supposed to. When my friend brought me to the piercing place to talk to the doctor (it was kind of a clinic as well), the doctor said that my skin had grown over my piercing, and it was now lodged in my ear, and to get it out, he'll have to cut around it. I'm no pansy, but I'm pretty sure my brain was cursing in languages I didn't even knew I spoke. But it had to be done before anything got worse, so I got led into a room alone, and was told to lie down on a table. It seemed a lot like the unravelling of a porno plot until the doctor injected around my ear with local anaesthetic (my ear... my EAR!!!) 3 or 4 times. Then he started cutting the skin around the piercing, which thankfully I didn't feel or I may have very well jumped through the window. When it was done, I had two silicone rings, each the thickness of a tongue bar (I won't talk gauge sizes), in my ear. It wasn't exactly a fashion statement, but for what it was worth I enjoyed having them, especially since they were so easy to clean. And since then, I guess, I've always been somewhat skittish around the use of piercing guns. It didn't completely stop me from using them, of course, since pretty much all the piercing places in Brunei only use guns, but if you don't live in Brunei and needles are available, please do consider using those instead.

But besides that, none of my other piercings have given me much trouble. That is, besides my nose piercing, but only because I've gotten it done 3 times in the same spot; two of those times I had myself to blame, since I had it taken out before I should've to change the jewelry. But the other, most recent time, like one of my older posts will be able to tell you, I think could be attributed to the underestimation by the piercer. But based purely one the pain of getting it, I will have to admit my labret was the worst.

I was talking to my friend about another project, and I may actually opt for 6 dermal anchors on my chest: three in a row at a slanted angle on each side. Although she's not that big a fan on piercings in general, having her actually giving me suggestions is a pretty huge step. I guess that's what happens when you live with a piercing/ body mod addict. I'll probably get those next year, though. For now I'll be saving up to finish my original plans for my ears.

So much for a short update. Whoops.


[edit]

Oh, by the way: I fell asleep at around 11:30 last night, and woke up at 11:30 AM. 12 hours of sleep, but at least I woke up before noon :D Glad my sleeping patterns are back to normal.

[/edit]

... I suppose the universe knows I need to stay awake; I'd just fallen asleep and the fire alarm sounded.

Wonderful.

... guess what I did today, in an attempt to stop myself from falling asleep and keeping up my blasphemous sleeping patterns?


Guess who's (or what's) back (:


And, and and...


She's got a new friend.

Yes, in my battle against the Sandman, I went to my piercing place and got my vertical labret repierced, and a dermal anchor on my cheekbone. Kind of wish I had recorded the whole thing on video, but ah well. The whole process (preparing, the actual piercing, cleaning up) took about 15-20 minutes each. The labret hurt a bit more than the first time, although I might've just forgotten what it felt like.

But the dermal anchor... oh boy. I mean, my piercer was right, it did hurt a lot less than the labret did, but at least with the vertical labret, I didn't have to wash my hair afterwards. It was a good thing she told me to close my eyes after I lay down and got the anchor put in (I only felt a dull pressure), because when she told me to turn my head to the side, I felt what could very well have been the contents of a burst water main (n/b: slight exaggeration) flow over my right eye, down my temple, into my ear, into my hair, down my neck and onto my bag, not to mention the mattress. Needless to say, there was a lot of blood. It'll still keep bleeding a bit for the next few hours, albeit (and this I hope) with much, much less ferocity; you can kind of see it already bleeding through the patch I have over it to keep it flat, and I've only had it on for about an hour. This'll probably be the hardest piercing I have to maintain as yet, since it should take about 3 to 6 months for the skin to grow through the anchor, and according to my piercer (need to get her name next time), it's probably one of the easiest to get infected and rejected.

I sure as hell hope not.

But yeah, I'm happy with them for now. I do have the strangest feeling I'll be waking up tomorrow (at sunrise, for a change) with nothing short of a hazy reasoning why I'm $90 short and have two (well, no, technically one) new holes in my face.

And one thing's for sure, the labret will definitely keep me off the sticks, what with it making poison taste like what I imagine evil would. Ugh.

... sister just told me that her AS Level results are out, but due to the overload of people trying to see what their results are, she can't access hers yet. Soooo I have the honour of checking it for her, with the hopes that being in Australia makes me an exception to the traffic haha. But since results for JIS students are private, each student is given a password to see their results.

Cross your fingers...

Nope, can't seem to view it. Ah well, she'll just have to hold her breath for the next few hours or so. Or, at least, our parents do. I don't think my siblings and I are quite as eager to see letters that essentially spell out our future. When my AS Level results came out two years ago I remember queueing up on the stairs with a bunch of other students, and since the majority of my peers who came out from the room had expressions one twitch short of a full-blown breakdown, I didn't have all that much high hopes for myself. But thankfully I ended up with somewhat average grades for all my subjects.

That's probably the most anxious I've ever been when receiving results. I mean, my PCE exams (good old PCE) didn't seem like much of a big deal; I was already in Tokyo by the time my PMB (do they still have PMB now?) results came out; I didn't sit O Levels in Form 5 (cue gasps, but yes, I didn't sit my O Levels thanks to the lovely American system we had in ISSH, besides the mandatory Malay I had to sit for as a scholarship prequisite after I got into JIS, and the English I sat just for kicks :B); and I got my A Level results when I was still buried in my sheets during my holiday in Taiwan, courtesy of my parents, who decided they just haaaad to e-mail the office for my results before I even saw them myself. Which ticked me off a bit, especially since I had been awoken quite rudely, which is never the best time to give me news, be it good or bad.

Anyways. Be warned, if my sister does as well as I think she will, I hereby declare that I have the right to brag, since I never put all that much effort in my studies and hence do not have any right to brag about my own results.

But then again, my sister only studies out of habit. She literally cannot sleep if she doesn't finish her homework; that fact I can testify. Strange creature, she is.

It is... 7:11 AM, and I shall attempt to stay awake til 9:30 PM tonight, at which point I will undoubtedly look like the offspring of Death and someone who got sprayed by a skunk. Which is why I shall head out in the blinding sunlight after this, circulate some lovely fresh air around these lungs, and walk to the nearest supermarket to buy me some poison.

No, I'm haven't started fasting yet. For those who need a reason, feel free to type "Kotex" in Google. Plus I've got 3 more days before my project starts, so I should relish my hopefully last attempts at a slow suicide.

... gots tuh chill, baby girl (:

Ya gots tuh chill.


-

So I've just realised something that's been niggling in the back of my mind...

I miss my cat.

I'm sure the majority of you I've met in real life have probably heard of my Aki, which does not refer to my friend Akee. It's an unexpected but somewhat cumbersome coincidence.

Anyways, before I left Brunei last February, my cat and I shared quite the bond: I could pick him up and carry him around for ages and ages without him squirming to be put down, he's friendly to everyone and never scratches and/or bites. Plus you could hear him purr from across the room.

But when I came back last June, he was undeniably different: he seemed to dislike it when I picked him up, he was visibly moody all the time, and he hardly ever purred. I mean, I could still poke his stomach and practically sit on him without him getting even least bit agitated (sometimes makes me wonder if he's receptive to pain, or maybe he takes after me in that he just doesn't give a damn), but he just wasn't like himself.

This upset me quite a bit, since I care about my cat more than I care about quite a few people, and he seemed so distant. Makes me reminiscent of the good old days when he and his sister Yuki were just kittens, and after I bathed them they'd be shivering, so I'd stick them in my sweater (which I usually wear with little else on) and they'd be cuddling against what they probably thought was whale blubber. But times are a-changing, I suppose, what with Yuki getting run over a while ago (Aki's been pretty skittish around cars ever since, I'm pretty sure he saw her getting hit), and Aki getting his natural dose of male-cat-hormones. I guess even cats grow up.



So when I went out to the kitchen to get something to drink, I could hear Di in her room practically shouting. I thought she got into a fight with her boyfriend back in Brunei, so I went to her door to try and calm her down:

Me (right about to knock): Di?

Di: SKALINYA KU BUKA PINTU ATU WAH, ADA TIA BANYAK ZOMBIE ANI, AND I WAS LIKE SHIIIIITTTT!!!! HELLPP HELLPP!!!

Me: Di?

Di: *opens door* Yeah?

Me: Please don't tell me you're talking to Shahri about you playing Left 4 Dead.

Di: Oh, tedangar kah?

Me: Mati eh, ku keluar atu hairan pasal ada bunyi urang terais, pikirtah apa.

Di: Oh, sorry hehe.

Misdirected concern, I shall name it.

-

I hope my love is having fun over in KL. I might be submerging into the depths of hell the underground for a while, at least until I sort myself out, so she won't be able to paint kisses on my Facebook wall. So here's a little tribute for her, because I be her biggest fan :D


And, of course, one for my sons.



Truly the only people I need. Ervy and my Panat 5.


And Aki. Well, Aki's not a person. But he sure means a lot more to me than most people do.

... is love.




I've always envisioned this as the soundtrack to a movie.

And in other news..

What happens during webcamming?

Well, this, for starters:


But a battle of wits and ego (mostly ego) may also ensue, so feel free to imagine me flexing my awesome muscles:

.Jamie's body is on UK time again. says (11:22 PM):
eh i just noticed kau pakai sleeveless
kan tunjukkan muscle kah?
duiii aku pun ada

.Jamie's body is on UK time again. says (11:23 PM):
baiiieeeee
basar lagi juburku

Godfather says (11:23 PM):
hahahaha

.Jamie's body is on UK time again. says (11:23 PM):
basar lagi lubang hidungmu bro

.Jamie's body is on UK time again. says (11:23 PM):
tricep mana?

Godfather says (11:23 PM):
basar lagi mata mu
heahahaha

Godfather says (11:24 PM):
mau liat muscle jubur ku?
hahahahahaha

.Jamie's body is on UK time again. says (11:25 PM):
kakiku baru bemuscle

Godfather says (11:25 PM):
hahahahaah
nda mau kalah eehhh

Godfather says (11:25 PM):
chest ku basar kali ahh
hahahahahahah

.Jamie's body is on UK time again. says (11:25 PM):
bah cuba cuba
basar lagi chest ku

.Jamie's body is on UK time again. says (11:26 PM):
c cup bah ni
hahahahaha



I won.

... I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML"

"Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML"

Hahahaha. FML of the day is a definite tie.

... I'm quite aware of the fact that I've been blogging a lot recently, probably to the delight of Ervy (hehe), but I suppose it's a positive sign that I've been feeling better.

So I had a talk with my parents, and turns out I won't be going back to Brunei in November, mostly because I can't afford it, what with me having to pay the rent during the holidays even if I do go back, and I'd rather not ask my parents again, seeing as they paid for my ticket in June.

Truth be told, I've never been all that close with any of my family members, cousins and all. So I get somewhat jealous when my friends tell their little anecdotes about their families, and the best I can come up with is when my brother and I went to the hospital at ages 10 and 9 (respectively) to get our injections prior to going for the Umrah. Seeing how nervous I was (and in retrospect, being the good big brother that he is), he told me that it wouldn't hurt that much, just like being bitten by one of those red ants. To which I imagine my eyes probably grew as large as... any large round thing - minus the nipples- since back then my threshold for pain maxed out at pretty much that. But of course it had to happen, and it did, with a few tears. Then my brother's turn came, and there unravelled the scene that I'm sure will haunt him (with me being the one telling it, of course) for the rest of his life.

Me: *sniffle*

Him (when being led by my father to the room for the injection): ... MATI NI!!!! MAAATTTIIII NIIII!!! MAAAAA!!!!!

... at which point he quite impressively (at age 10, mind you, and he was an exceptionally small child) lodged himself in the doorway, screaming bloody murder.

Oh, and he kicked the nurse even though my dad practically had him in a death-grip.

My newly-turned 21-year old brother, ladies and gentlemen. Which reminds me:


I'll spare him the inevitable embarassment if I were to show his face, but feel free to look about my Facebook, point and laugh.

But anyways yeah. Quite some time ago in Art class, instead of doing work (as always) my friends and I got into a conversation about how our parents met, with my friend leading the way in romance-points. But when my turn came around, I had nothing, since I've never asked and my parents have never told; in fact, despite having 5 older brothers, I've never even met any of their girlfriends before. Romance is a bit of a taboo subject in my family.

So almost 3 years later, with the help of the ever-so-impersonal MSN, I finally asked my parents in my usual subtle way:

.Jamie:
oh ma ma ma
my kawan masa ari atu semua becerita cana parents dorang betamu
romantik banar lagi tu cerita dorang
parents si diana dari dorang soas lagi tu
skali dorang tanya me, I said me inda tau

.Jamie - working. says (10:36 PM):
apa ler, banyak jua inda tau pasal my family ani
malu kan cerita kah ma? ;D
me bagak sudah ni.

.Jamie - working. says (10:36 PM):
bukan lagi bagak, macam badak (sumbu) ada jua lah

sarim says (10:37 PM):
bah ok concentrate on getting better results jangan fikir lain dulu

Then she went offline.

Now I know where I get my buangkes skills from.

... I was looking through YouTube for any talented people from Brunei.

I was actually expecting a bunch of random individuals singing.

BUT!

I found something so, so much better:




Lame for the most part, yes. But I had no idea this is what the previous BSSBNE committee was capable of (in a good way), which I suppose sets a (lame but effective) benchmark for the current members.

Plus I have quite a soft spot for stick figures, as anyone who looks through my lecture notes will be able to tell.

... sent a graffiti to him an hour and a half (according to Malaysian time) early, but I'll just wish him a happy birthday at midnight Brisbane time, because my wrists and fingers may just fall off in the very very near future.


Probably one of the most well-rounded men I know: intelligent, talented, athletic; plus he gets extra brownie points for being one of THE nicest guys I've ever met. You know how some people are nice to their friends, and dicks to their families (see: wanker)? Or nice to their friends and families, but are dicks to other people (see:douchebag)? Fortunately he's neither, which I must admit is quite a rare find nowadays.

Oh, plus he's been one of TMWIB's loyal readers for more than a year now (: In fact, I've addressed quite a few posts to him, which sets him quite firmly in my just-made-up Hall of Fame.

And, despite what his claims, I for one do not find him average looking. The double-takes I did the first few times I saw him pays homage to that. He does look like a girl with his current hairstyle, though.

I apologise for not having another cake at the ready this year, despite the similarity in geographical impediments as last year; I'm hoping whatever little entertainment the graffiti provides would suffice, at least until we're in the same country and I can treat you to dinner :D

So...

Happy 21st Birthday, Firdauz (middle name withheld) Baharudin

... mentioned before that I'm no believer in the concept of "best friends". And I, as sad as it may seem, take friends, and people in general, for granted. My proclamations of what I believe is the L word span far and few (but that would probably require a separate post- maybe next time), but with this wuhman, it flows effortlessly.



(Yes, I have to be a bit careful of which photos I put here; wouldn't want a reenaction of the Ayla incident, do we now? Unflattering, yes, but at least I have a sense of humour. Ha. Ha. Ha.)

So, at least, I've got you. And despite your absolute incapability of navigating your own kitchen, it's more than enough for me.

-

I just remembered someone found my blog by typing in "Mallam well endowed". No idea what Mallam refers to, but sorry to disappoint whoever you are, for I am neither that nor well-endowed in anything besides an occasionally disturbing level of aptitude towards sexual connotations in any given sentence.

-

Aaaaand I'll exit this post with 2 wise words, 7 wise syllables that should give you an idea on how I'll [attempt to] live hereon in:

RIVERSIDE, MOTHERFUCKER.

... found my blog by typing "BRUNEI poklen" in Google. Granted, it was referring to the extract from Mil's blog. And now that I mention it, I also got a hit from someone who typed in "Mil poklen" in Google as well. But I think the person was looking for his blog.

Ah, the poklen phenomenon. More than anything, it's just poorly-aimed discrimination against people who would arguably fit in better in a sub-culture of another country. Or at least, people who dress like that. But by saying that, I suppose my mind's got a visual of what I think "poklen" refers to.

And that's not nice.

But like I say, some people are lucky to be disliked. At least banyak pahala. Haha.

So get off your delusional high and stop calling people names. Doesn't make you look any better.



And on a different note, thanks to my bright idea of resetting my body clock, I can't seem to differentiate the past 3 days. Faaabulous.


[edit]

Wait wait wait. So I clicked on the first link. And maybe I'm one of the few people that don't know this, but someone wrote up a definition for "poklen" on Urbandictionary.com, and I quote:

"poklen

Oh MaIixXxX GoDz!!! i LuFfZzZzz YoUhXxX!

FaAnXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!!!!1!


fuck off, poklen. "

And I thought I had a lot of time on my hands.

[/edit]

September 27th:

Enough of the poison.

23 Movie Plots That Could Have Been Solved In Minutes.

Some of these are brilliant :B

... I just noticed that when I do this smiley:

:B

I actually look like it.

No, I'm not high off anything. Unless you count boredom.

Now I understand why people have those third-party apps like Zippo Lighter and Beer Mug on their iPhones. Not that I have one. Kind of wish I do now. Just so I can look like an idiot shaking a phone with a smile on my face like some sort of technologically-well-endowed neanderthal.

No offense. My brother has one too. Maybe I based it on him.

But I suppose I'll have to settle for shaking with silent laughter at the computer lab from reading Mil's blog while a myriad of people contemplate my level of sanity.

... don't actually read blogs all that much. And the ones I do probably actually have things in it I don't mind reading. Stop me from sounding mean (oops, never mind), but I'm not all that interested in the rantings of whatsherfaces whatsherdoings during her whatsherdays. So if you happen to catch my IP in your tracker (that is, if you have one, God bless you; and if you don't, please help yourself to getting one, they're very entertaining), it's a compliment.

But a blog like THIS, would, and will always, make my day. Almost all of 7 years ago (ooh), I had the privilege of reading interesting fictional stories concerning things like the origins of an Asian fruit called Mata Kucing, amongst other things. Now, 7 years later, I find out his writings have gotten better, and each more hilarious than the last. Apologies if you don't understand Malay or Bruneian culture, but if you do have an inkling of the goings on in the oh-so-hip bubble that is Brunei, you'd appreciate his creative license:

"Assalamualaikum dan salam sejahtera kepada tuan-tuan dan puan-puan sekalian. Ya, Alhamdulillah, bertemu kita lagi dalam siri Menyingkap Kain Sarung, sebuah rancangan yang memaparkan isu-isu semasa yang selalu menjadi diskusi hangat ulih paji-paji yang tinggal di kampung halaman saya. Sambil-sambil diskusi atu, mengupi lah tarus abisdia tu sambil mengurat pelayan wanita indonesia yang bekeraja di tempat mengupi atu. Masya-allah, urang-urang tuanya atu tah banar.

Anyway... Bagaimana dengan keadaan anda masa ini? Diharap anda semua sentiasa gembira dan bahagia di samping keluarga. Gaji & elaun pun sudah keluar. Maka inda ada alasan untuk inda bergembira tu. Kalau alum menerima, baik di complain arah boss tu nyanta.

Pada malam ini, saya Haji Kamis akan menjadi hos bagi rancangan ini. Malangnya Haji Jumat tidak dapat hadir pada malam ini sebagaimana yang telah beliau janjikan pada episod minggu lepas. Beliau dipercayai telah terkena jangkitan virus H1N1 dari amahnya yang baru balik dari mengambil degree in Housekeeping di London. So kana quarantine lah ia. Jadinya, saya, Insya-allah akan meneruskan saki-baki yang beliau tinggalkan dalam episod lepas yang mengupas tentang isu Poklen.

Pada episod yang lalu, sesi temubual kami dengan lady XYZ tidak sempat kami kongsikan kerana masa yang terlalu singkat. Jadinya, pada malam ini kami akan bawakan anda dengan sesi temubual tersebut. Oleh kerana lady XYZ itu seorang gadis melayu kedua terakhir yang pemalu tahap maharani, dia enggan ditemubual secara oral. Ia request kami supaya interview ia melalui MSN messenger saja. Mati eh, kebasaran jua bini-bini atu banar. Mau inda mau, krew kami terpaksa mengikut saja permintaannya. Maka, tanpa membuang masa mari kita saksikan sesi temuramah kami dengan lady XYZ:

***
lady XYZ: hYEz!!

krew: Hello

lady XYZ: VaH, Pa SJa Kn U inTrVieW ArH mE nie?

krew: Sorry lady XYZ. Dapat kau berbicara dalam Bahasa Melayu atau English? Inda ku paham..

lady XYZ: AhAKz cKp VrUNai JuA mE UdH ToH

krew: Ah apa?

lady XYZ: U nIe.. EkSYen2 tia NdA PhM.. WaWaWa

krew: Sorry Lady XYZ, dapat kitani chat dalam Melayu atau English?? can we chat in ENGLISH or MALAY?? DO YOU GET ME?? PAHAM KAU??

lady XYZ: oF CoZ LAh mE PhM.. mE UrG VrUNai Kli aH...

***
Dan sekali lagi, temubual kami menemui jalan buntu. Kami mengambil keputusan untuk sign out dari MSN kerana sanak, sasak & tidak faham akan satu patah perkataan yang ditaip oleh lady XYZ. Entah bahasa apakah yang digunakannya. Bini-bini atu tah banar.

Tanpa pengetahuan kami, rupa-rupanya bahasa yang dipakai oleh lady XYZ itu adalah dipercayai sebagai bahasa poklen. Ceh, poklen pun ada bahasa sendiri kah. Baru jua ku tau tu. Perkara ini dikesahkan sendiri oleh Jimmy yang tinggal di sebalah rumah nini Haji Jumat. Jimmy merupakan seorang penuntut tingkatan lima yang pakar dalam perkara-perkara yang berkaitan dengan kepoklenan.

"Yatah kamu atu inda tau. Chatting sama urang poklen pun kamu inda sadar. Memang bahasa Brunei tu yang dipakainya atu. Bukan bahasa Urdu atau jawa tu. Andang style chatting durang cematu tu," ujar Jimmy sambil mengeluarkan sebatang rokok dari poket baju sekolahnya.

Melalui pengesahan Jimmy tersebut, baharulah kami sedar bahawa sebenarnya banyak ciri-ciri yang boleh membuatkan seseorang itu poklen.

Adui, sekali lagi nampaknya masa inda begitu mengizinkan rancangan ini untuk diteruskan. Saksikan lagi sambungan Menyingkap Kain Sarung siri Poklen ini di minggu hadapan pada waktu dan hari yang sama. Liat ah, jangan inda liat. Mun kamu inda meliat, rugi saja bosku membayar gaji ku.

Akhir kata dari saya, Assalamualaikum, selamat malam dan "jangan biarkan kain sarung anda disingkap sesuka hati". Semoga kita bertemu kembali dalam episod minggu depan. Chow!!"

Part 2 of a 3-Part expose on Poklen, courtesy of Mil (:

P.S: No, Jimmy does not refer to me.

... of Hope" by Antoine Dufour, as covered by Welter:



If there were one song I'd want to learn, it'd be this.

And Ebon Coast by Andy McKee, actually.

But yeah. Love it.

... 6 Most Badass Murder Weapons in the Animal Kingdom

I maintain my opinion that the handlebar mustache on this ant makes it by far the most badass.

Most people don't think it's a good idea to kick someone when they're down. In this case, I think I was asking for it.

Onwards.