Oh dear God. Someone please keep my dear wife off the roads. No wonder people keep assuming women are such bad drivers. And this coming from a fellow woman. I mean:

(leaving Gadong at around 7PM)

Me: ... are the headlights on?
Ana: ... uhhh I don't know, how d'you turn them on?
Me, Ernest and Weed: AHHHH?!?!!




I give my friends cool aliases so they don't get hunted down and killed (:

At least we survived the death cab.

I'm not quite sure if people suddenly develop one of those screens like in Wall-E or what when they enter the Mall, or if they're just plain ignorant to the surroundings, cause when we were were walking along the 3rd floor, a bird flew right past me.

Yes, that's right. A fucking BIRD got in, and nobody else seemed to see it. Goodness gracious.




Looks like people are catching the BBQ bug, got two more in this week alone if things go to plan :D Good evening, ladies gentlemen, welcome to Obese Airways. I guess all those previous posts of me saying how much I wanted lamb is kind of fulfilling themselves. I should rename this blog to Two Men Walked Up To A Wishing Well.

I'll put that next to Two Men In A Bar Dancing (according to Leo). Which I guess would kinda look like this:


Only, you know, two of them. And in a bar.

... apparently treadmills are quite heavy. My dad bought one a few days ago to put in my parents' room (also upstairs TV room), but apparently the running bit was too narrow so he called the people up to have it replaced with another one. But, being my dad, he didn't tell either me or my sister; and seeing as home is supposed to bea sanctuary at all you really wouldn't expect us to look at all glamorous (or presentable, for that matter). Joy of joys, they walked in while my sister was on the computer, sprawled as always; and myself sitting cross-legged on the sofa while reading a sushi cookbook, watching the womens' gymnastics event and eating a plate of grilled chicken like the savage that I secretly am. At least I wasn't sleeping spread-eagled on the bed like I was earlier that day.

If you must know, I'm a supermodel in my dreams, therefore strike quite interesting poses in my sleep. My sister would be quite the millionaire if she snapped some pictures.

Although I'd be interested in knowing who would want pictures of me sleeping like that. And slightly flattered. But mostly disturbed.

Had a wonderful time in the barbecue yesterday, which may have been the last time for see a few people, particularly the ones who're flying off to UK soon. Hopefully I'll be able to enjoy the last few weeks with them, though. Sungkai plans, sil vous plait (:


Typical conversation piece with the Seal:

・A・・・t・B・・_Im up for a cuppa coffee.. are you? says:
i want a cast!!!

・A・・・t・B・・_Im up for a cuppa coffee.. are you? says:
T-T

・A・・・t・B・・_Im up for a cuppa coffee.. are you? says:
any of us dares break an arm??

・A・・・t・B・・_Im up for a cuppa coffee.. are you? says:
=3

Jamie. says:
hahaha i would

Jamie. says:
but i hear it hurts

Jamie. says:
so let's push someone off somewhere

Graduation makes us all bored. Therefore I urge a certain someone to make wifi magically appear in his room.

Surprisingly, dad gave us the heads-up that he's going to KL this Wednesday, albeit only for a day. Usually he tells us on the way to the airport. But I let it slide due to the potential "compensation money" huhu. Interesting how certain words can change when a situation involves a family member. My favourite: swindling ---> bonus allowance.




If my uterus had an arm, I'm pretty sure it would be grabbing a razor and be emo, because it sure seems like it's trying to bleed me to death.

I'd forgotten how sinfully horrible the internet is here. I would gladly go back to Taiwan just so I could a decent connection. But otherwise, hello Brunei (:

For some reason, being back here feels strange. I feel really lonely, and I'm not quite sure why; it's like I'm constantly being hounded by that weird feeling in the pit of your stomach when you have a premonition that something bad is going to happen. I don't know what's going on, but I really hope this fades away soon. Times like these remind me why I always keep a book next to my bed, a while ago I used to wake up in the wee hours feeling nauseous with paranoia, so I'd read to basically distract myself.

Escapism saves lives.



BUT at least I have a nice graffiti from Leo (:





BBQ on Sunday, hopefully things go to plan (:

God I'm exhausted. I just want to get things over with.

I haven't watched this series in a while, but it's still great.




This is only the first of 8 videos, you'll find that it gets more and more violent as you go along, check it out on Newgrounds.

Or, if you prefer your entertainment violence-free:




"I think I'm going through puberty!" Hahaha.

... before I finally leave for Brunei, and I return back to the inevitable reality of unemployment. Well, no, I'll be applying to a few places, since I've still got until around February to essentially make sure I'm not a waste of space.

I got two of these, for anyone who might want them:



So if you're feeling adventurous, let me know.

So the bad news is that I got lower than what I was predicted for Literature. But it's understandable, seeing as I didn't get very good grades last year. I suppose my performance in class didn't prove itself on paper, but then again I knew I botched one of my papers in the exam.

The good news is that I can technically qualify for all the courses I'd like to take in the Top 8. So that's good enough for me.

There's a pretty crazy thunderstorm going on right now, it was raining so hard that for a few minutes I couldn't see Taipei 101 at all, which is strange cause it's only about 400 metres away. I think my sister counted 5 flashes in about 10 seconds. Eeep.

Fin told me to watch this:




I love her sad face hahahaha.

Hungreh. Need food.

Congratulations to anyone who's satisfied with their results. I know a lot of people aren't, but syukur tah you guys didn't fail. To my parents, B = D. Haha.

Sabar saja lah, asal dapat masuk university atu Alhamdulilah.



That may be the most Malay I've ever written on here. Onwards, onwards.

I miiight be getting my password tomorrow. Hopefully I'll get what I expect I will. Right now I'm looking through the Australian Top 8 for my courses.

For the first time in quite a while, I actually have a To-Do list I need to stick to for when I get back to Brunei. So for future reference:

Jamie's Stick-to-this-list-or-die List:
1. Wrap up any loose ends with documents, pick up leaving certificate
2. Driver's license
3. Drive sister to school (and scare her by doing sharp turns, "eh where's the brake?", etc etc)
4. Make a CV
5. Apply for jobs
6. Savour time with Ervy :B
7. Leaving BBQ for people flying off soon
8. Lanja si Intan ice cream haha
9. Apply for universities
10. Save up for possible trip to KL


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I've been at this for 4 hours now. And I still haven't figured out what QLD bands, UAI and international TER are. Eeeeee!!!! I am seriously going to buy my school's Higher Ed representative a big bouquet of flowers.

Oh.

11. Buy flowers for Higher Ed reps.


[/edit]

... would like to think of myself as being healthy. I mean, yes, I am chubby, as I always have been, the lowest weight I've been in recent years was 52 KG, and even then I wasn't very proud of the means I used to get it. During the beginning of the school year, some people commented on how.. well.. big I'd gotten. And it was true, but I guess when you're in the throes of young romance as I was back in the day, you seem to care less what you look like and... start eating like shit. BUT towards the end of that relationship, I guess I was sick of my mum saying I would look better thinner. Any girl may be able to tolerate her friends saying something along those lines, but when your own mother does, yeesh. I suppose I understand, when she was my age she had a 25" waist, and was constantly being complimented by her landlady. I would laugh if anyone ever assumed I would shrink to that size, since I'm a full 4 inches taller than her I'd like to believe I have some leeway on carrying weight. But anyways, I lost about 15 kg, and since then I've pretty much looked the way I do now.

That doesn't stop me from looking at some girls and wishing I was thinner. Who knows, maybe I'd be gorgeous. Sometimes I still can't bear to look at my own friends cause I've always had it programmed that slenderness = beauty. And considering my friends are absolutely stunning, that just means peoples' eyes linger just that bit longer on them before finally settling on me. This shouldn't bother me, I know. But you don't go through the ugly duckling (and I mean ugly duckling) stage without wishing you'll someday turn into a swan.

Maybe that's why I developed a sense of humour: to compensate for the lack of attention. Eeeps.


BUT at least my recent trip to check my blood pressure shows I won't be getting a stroke any time soon. And I suppose in the end it doesn't matter what you look like, it's how healthy you are.

Plus I'm somewhat comfortable with the way I look now. I mean, I bought some jeans about a month ago, and now I can put them on even without unzipping and unbuttoning it; that's got to mean something. Or maybe I subconsciously choose the bigger sizes. I'd like to think not.

Call it selective denial.

In other news, I went to the Ye Liu Geopark today, which basically presents... rocks. Woot, woot, mini wave. Nana was grumpy on account of her disliking anything to do with geography, and I was grumpy on account of me disliking having to climb a lot of stairs just to see some rock that looks like a woman. As good as they are for your buns and thighs, I. Don't. Like. It. Make me run a mile, make me sprint 400 metres, I'd rather run than hike.

But I did, and I was sort of surprised to see so many fossilised sand dollars, and pretty big ones as well. And the rock looked a lot like one of those Star Wars characters, but at least it actually looked like a person. Plus, it was right next to the ocean, so I was basically at the northernmost bit of Taiwan. But FUCKING HELL it was hot, and I was shooting glares at all the tourists who were wearing shorts. The day Brunei starts reaching 38 degrees C is the day I shall be moving to New Zealand.

After that we stopped by the fish market to pick up.. fish. Well, crab, more like, on account of Brunei's crabs being tiny in comparison (but oh so yummy). Naturally, considering the locals' preference of keeping these poor creatures as fresh as possible, they were all alive, so it was sort of cute to see the puffer fishes swimming around. I would've snapped some pictures, but seeing as they had a selection of spiny sea creatures I decided not to. I also got to see a small shark jump from its container into a container full of crabs, and one of the crabs jump into a container of what I presume was cuttlefish, and saw them turn from a translucent opal to inky black, which may have been the best part of my day. There's nothing like seeing something from Nat Geo, in real life.

I was half hoping to find something phallic-shaped, as the bountiful creations of nature tend to lean towards that. But methinks Mother Nature is quite the feminist here, since I found two things that were of the female variety haha. Take the opportunity to test your psychological profile, I saw a few things that would make ink blots blush:

The oh-so-famous Queen's head. Which kinda looks like Mandy from the Grim Adventures of Billy&Mandy, if you ask me. Maybe she took over Taiwan back in the historic times.












And I curse those women who were throwing those rocks at a poor, innocent (albeit big) spider. May your dreams be filled with creepy crawlies.

Oh, a little extra I caught on the way back:





I want Pringles. BBQ flavoured ones.

... sort of nice to know when your friends' birthdays are coming up. But after checking Friendster and Facebook, I've only just realised how many peoples' birthdays are in August. Good thing is, since I'm far from physical reach (and feel far more comfortable with virtual threats), I don't feel the need to buy anyone presents. In true Bruneian fashion, I'll just treat them to food. Food makes most people happy, especially Intan (August 14th) and Leo (August 16th) and Maj (August 17th). I won't be bothered with my brother (August 15th) cause I live with him. That should be a present in itself hahaha.

Yes, birthday bonanza, 4 days in a row. I shan't discuss the probabilities of this occurring very much, considering it will inevitably lead to a case of wondering what could have happened 9 months prior to this to fuel such determination to reproduce.

Whoopsie.

I may not feel like blogging on those respective days, so let's just wrap all this in one simple post:

Happy 19th 18th, 20th, 20th, 20th, 20th, 19th and 19th birthday to Intan, Abg Muizz, Aryf, Leo, Maj, Qush and Adam (:

I don't have a picture of all of you, so I'll just settle on this picture of a man-cake for the gentlemen:



And a sweet little girly cake for the ladies:

Somewhat random. This old song by a Malaysian boyband called A to Z kept popping in my head for some strange reason, "Itik Gembo Gembo". I don't understand the lyrics, but that didn't stop me from singing along (:


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1001 hits since July 13th (: I do wish people would say something on the board; but thanks for reading!

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Bila rindu.

... I am a tolerant person. One exception, however, is when I am sleepy. The reason behind this is that I get very stiff when I wake up, as in first thing I have to do is crack multiple joints. I need my rest badly, particularly if I haven't slept for over 30 hours. I do not need to wake up to the idiotic sounds of my sister tapping on her laptop.

So let's put a disclaimer here for anyone who may try to wake me up unnecessarily: let me wake up in my own time. If you try to, I will kill you.

Have a nice day (:

... haven't slept in about 27 hours now. BUT it's good, since I never could get myself to actually stay up this long. At least I'll be sure I'll KO at a somewhat decent time tonight.

The miracles of caffeine have finally touched my life. I'm no avid coffee-drinker; the last time I had 9 cups in about 3 hours...

... I finally fell asleep at 10 AM the next morning.

But I just had a little bottle of caffee latte, which was enough to pull me out of my usual cranky-bitch-not-enough-sleep-JAMIE-SMAAAASH! mode. But I guess it was also because we went to Window on China (where lilliputians may roam free) and Leo Foo Village, a theme park. I didn't take all that many pictures, on account of me being lazy haha. Plus, it started raining and I got soaked. But at least my sister and I didn't mind going on this water-splash ride. Coolest thing, though, on the bridge there're these TNT-like plungers, where you can put in $20 (B$1) and essentially soak whoever's in the little canoe things. I almost feel sorry for the three people I did that, too. Take that, you small segment of the male population.

I think I've fulfilled my feminist quota for today.


This little bugger was friendly enough to say hello.

Zzzz.

[edit]
In response to Leo's "Angry German Kid" thing on Youtube, methinks it's about time I reintroduce Mr. Danny, aka the Tourettes Guy. I know it's not nice to make fun of people with certain disorders or deviations (it's debated whether he really does have Tourettes' or not), but whoever he is, I've found his swearing really amusing for quite some time now.





[/edit]

... my dad and brother (henceforth known as Mouse) just arrived from Brunei last night, and my sister and I were supposed to show M around Taipei101. Wasn't all that interesting, since pretty much most of the 5 floors are brand names, we just walked around, and Nana was relieved she finally found a bookstore close to the apartment.

(I knew about it a while ago, I just didn't tell her on account of her eating my Peanut Butter bars. Mwahaha.)

Anyways, when we went down to the grocery store, my brother spotted the durian section, and was somewhat adamant on wanting to get some, maybe because he hasn't had any since he left for uni. So there I was getting one of those plastic bags to put the container in so the people in the lobby wouldn't be able to smell it, when these two Japanese women walked past, stopped, came back to the stand and started talking. Unfortunately, my sister and I both understand enough Japanese to know they were saying "I can't believe they're buying that".

I would've started mentioning all the strange smelling, looking and tasting things I've encountered back in good old Tokyo, but being such a wonderful person, I refrained myself.

Plus, there was a tank full of live lobsters and crabs nearby and I wouldn't be surprised if they started hurling them at me.

And my brother was just standing there, blissfully unaware of why my sister was laughing so hard.

See, that's why it pays to know a few languages other than the standard Malay-English mix.



[edit]
My sister wanted to get the new book from the Twilight series, called "Breaking Dawn", and when I asked her who the author was so I could ask the shop assistants, she said she forgot.

A coupla minutes ago as I was reading a magazine I saw an ad for the book.

Me: "It's like it's mocking you."

Nana: "That bitch, avoiding me."

Me: "Stephanie Meyers... I knew her name started with an S."

Nana: "Well, Stephanie isn't a very hard name to remember."

Me:" ... You didn't remember it just now."

Nana: " ... Yeah I know. Haha."




Read:
Tech Zombies: 6 Technologies That Don't Know They're Dead

Hahaha if only you could go to strip clubs with your credit card in hand instead of a bunch of ones.


[/edit]

Amazing what technology can do.

Want to see what I'd look like if I did that?

Let's see...







Oops. Too much testosterone.

It'd be interesting if my webhits suddenly shot up because of this picture.


I'm not quite sure what's up with my appetite nowdays. I've been mentally tabulating the foods I've eaten, and I'm sure they don't surpass 1500 calories each day. I find myself craving certain foods (e.g. a salad), but when I went to the grocery store and held up a bag, I suddenly feel full. Now this wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the fact that I feel very hypoglycemic if I don't eat every 3 or so hours. I've also been sleeping for an average of 11/12 hours every day. It's definitely not one of the healthiest lifestyles I've had. Which is why I cannot wait to get back to Brunei. As much as it's absolutely smothered in sinfully fattening foods, at least I've got people to drag me out during pretty much all my waking hours, which will hopefully, once I get back, reset my body clock.

Plus I usually love food. So I don't know what the deal is here.

Ah, to be once again united with my one true love:


BUT, only better!

Say no to drugs. Say yes to the barbaric slaughter of fluffy animals (:

... colour piece. Got too lazy to colour the background, as usual.



This is neither Amanda Bynes nor Katie Holmes. Just typed "sleeping girl" in Google and picked a random picture haha.


I will gladly be anyone's friend if, the moment I get back to Brunei, they get me a nice, thick vanilla milkshake, and a cheeseburger. Hell, I'll throw in a few complimentary ass-kissing comments too.


[edit]

Also, any man who can do this is definitely going to be seen as a potential husband:



[/edit]

... Leo, who shall be abandoning me as of 4 hours from now.




Apparently I am very appealing to mice, and barely survived being run over by a Ferrari. Edward is quite the martyr.


[edit]
August 1st - 2nd:
9 AM - sleep
3 PM - wake up
9 AM - still awake.

Must resist sleepiness. Eeee.
Too lazy.. to go anywhere..


I did go to the park this morning, on account of it being very bright outside by 5:15AM. If I weren't somewhat convinced I'd have 8 dogs being set on me or get speared by walking sticks, I would've taken pictures of the different groups doing their little exercises. And I find it kind of interesting how they all kind of have a uniform. It's like an unofficial statement of your preferred routine; white for the Tai Chi group, pink for the aerobics group, red for the I'm-not-quite-sure-what-that-is group, etc etc.

There were people who preferred doing their exercises alone though. I caught sight of a woman who appeared to be hugging/rubbing/molesting a tree. And another woman doing some sort of martial art with a sword. Not a sword cane. One of those fancy schmancy Shaolin-looking ones, which was pretty cool.

And then, of course, there were the men playing basketball, or rather, just trying to shoot from various spots. This wouldn't be so surprising if it weren't for the fact that these men, along with pretty much all the other people in the park, had to be at least 40 years old, with the majority being 50+. And these men were scoring three-pointers like nobody's business. Apparently my dad's excuse when he first saw them was "pasal dorang malar kana dulur". As you can tell, that doesn't really make sense, so you can assume he's jealous. Hohoho.

Oh, and I saw a guy whose face looked thirties, but his body was... um.. pretty damn ripped, to be frank. And not in that ludicrous head-looks-like-a-small-boulder-on-a-mountain kind of way, just... nice. Hahaha. Don't blame me for looking, because:

1) He wasn't wearing a shirt;
2) He was doing his little Qi Gong session quite close to where I was walking; and
3) I am veeeerry deprived of any eye-candy.

If I go insane over the next few days, please feel free to hunt Leo down, it was his unofficial responsibility to keep my mind from going WAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

I'm so sleepy. But I can't sleep.

Fuck.

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