It's interesting how confidence can rise or wane when you hang around with different people. Having just gotten out of a relatively long-term relationship, I've felt ugly to beautiful and back again; having body image issues, of course, didn't help. Nowadays I tread carefully around the usage of the L-word, even though I do admit to have loved my previous boyfriend. Just now I hada conversation with a friend about her current status of basically playing the field, something to be honest I was surprised to know, because she doesn't seem the type to (but then again, how can you really tell?). She said that it's "too hard to be in a relationship" and if "things don't work out with one, it's still okay".

And somehow she's convinced me that it's true.

Maybe I shouldn't jump to such conclusions, considering this was my only serious relationship, but the pure, unadulterated concoction of raw emotions -love, hate, jealousy - was honestly too overwhelming at most times. Granted, the intoxication was somewhat beautiful, but if they found the biochemical that makes you feel, and I'm saying this in the nicest way possible, like absolute SHIT the way you do sometimes after a fight... the world suicide rate would be astounding.

I went out with a dear friend of mine yesterday, and I was glad because I couldn't bear to let him stay with his own thoughts. Life truly isn't fair for some. And although I know we're both fortunate to be in our living and financial positions, knowing that someone who deserves the best in his personal fulfilment being blatantly neglected by love makes you rethink about the definition of contentment.

Hmm.. I actually intended this post to be more on the upbeat side. Oh well. Today was a good day. I never thought I'd enjoy wiping off blood.