Some person found my site via http://www.google.ca/search?hl=en&q=FEMME%20OBESE&start=540&sa=N

So just for the record, no, I am not an overweight lesbian, I'm a curvy bi-curious woman. Thin line, but it's there.

... of who you are, I suppose, comes with age, and experience. And what with all these images of assumed beauty and perfection floating around, it's really hard to hold true to the old "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" saying. And I must admit, one of the aspects in my life that really gets to me is my negative body image; particularly when surrounded by slender women. Now, I don't think I'm obese, but conversations like the one I had with an old friend at the airport this afternoon sure make me feel like I am. I hadn't seen her in years, and when she talked to me I commented on how slim she'd gotten, and she said it was because she was wearing black. When I said, "Well, I'm wearing black too and I don't look that way", she just glanced around and said "Ummm yeaaaahhhh, can't think of anything to say".

Interestingly, she was my best friend back in the olden days. Haha.

And how sad is it that I'm slowly starting to dislike myself again. Seems like only the femme-fatale types get to live out their romantic dreams. Maybe that's the problem, maybe my brain substituted femininity for humour. I just wish that I could be more of a woman. I wish I could laugh melodiously, walk with just that tiny sway of seduction that most girls I've seen seem to have mastered. I wish I were prettier, thinner, sweeter, more feminine.

I wish I were happier with myself.

I guess it's pretty obvious that I'm not so confident after all.

... always wondered how it would feel like to have a sudden realisation of something.

And apparently, lying down on your bed and staring into space makes the likelihood of that happening inch a tad higher.

I was just giggling to myself in all my immature glory at the little mental debate I had on why the Pussycat Dolls' pronunciation of "I wanna have groupies" in their new song sounded so much like "I wanna have boobies". At first I thought they wouldn't sing something like that, until I watched their video and came across 3:31 - 3:32:



Hm. Yeah. If you were me right now, you'd be imagining a bunch of lithe cat-like women giggling at Nicole's little tongue-in-cheek movement right there.


But anyways, so my sudden realisation came along when I was thinking about that one chick who does the splits standing up, and how a) insane she must be; and b) if she were a man, she would not have any balls.

Wait.

A man. Doing the splits...

Now where have I seen th-

... an offer from QUT, yay (: I'm a bit iffy about Monash and UQ though, since their prequisites included O Level Maths, and I didn't even take O Levels haha. Hopefully B Lau is as good an agent as I hope. Bachelor of Business, here I come.

What happens when you mix a bunch of girls with cupcakes and icing?

Well. A very interesting lesbian scene, for one.

But in actual fact, it turned into this:






Cupcake gooood.

... I suppose it's because He knows that it's for the best.

Someday, maybe.





-



Stay strong, Iman. We're here for you.

So I won a voucher or something from Pilihan FM this afternoon. I think the question was "what was the most popular car colour from 2000 to 2005?". At the time I was near the stadium to have my first driving lesson, so I looked around and saw a bunch of silver cars, so I just said silver, and I got it right haha. Later that afternoon on the way to Giant with my dad, Izan asked people to call in to talk about shows they grew up watching, and mentioned how her mum was actually going to name her Jamie, so I decided to call. She seemed quite amused when I told her my name was Jamie, but then again it isn't so much of a name than a Westernised nickname from my old Tokyo days (although it's a slight deviation from my original Jimmy). But yeah, I've been wanting to actually try out this DJ thing for quite some time, but I'm not quite sure how to, or if I'd be any good at it, but hey, I don't mind talking, I get along relatively well with people and I'm fluent enough in English, so it might be an interesting experience for me.


Good luck to Ervy, who left Brunei around 4 hours ago for the UK. I'll see you in December, baby ((:

My face. Feels. Like. Michael Jackson.


I miss watching Indian movies; I wonder if there's something in the water there to make pretty much all the actresses triple-threats. But deary me videos like these make me wonder what people think I'm saying when I'm speaking Malay:




What I wouldn't do to be that gorgeous.

I just read a blog that made me smile. It's nice to know there're still minds out there; it's somewhat refreshing.

Methinks some people need to realise the difference between Fear and Precaution.

Plus everyone in Brunei should be well-versed in the art of criticising others in all their hypocritical glory; this is the lifestyle people across the generations share. Just because someone opens their metaphorical mouth to bring up subjects of more controversial value doesn't mean they're any less holy than you.

Actually, it'd be interesting to re-enact Milgram's experiment here.

I have my doubts, I won't lie. I am who I am by means I could not control. I do not denounce Islam, nor any other religion. I am relatively well-versed in the laws and the beliefs, but I have the prerogative to live along the guidelines, and I made my choice. If I were to follow them, and don the headscarf, I will only do it when I believe in it.

At least when I'm being a kniving bitch, I'm not a kniving bitch wrapped up in something meant to declare your bond with God. If there were one entity I wouldn't lie to, it'd be Him, so don't make me create a pseudo-lifestyle in the hopes that I'll magically become religious. Whatever faith I have lets me know that He understands. So let me get there in my own time.

Agree or disagree. Discuss. Stop attacking people just cause they argue whatever point you were fed to believe.

Anyways, yeah. Thank you for being out there. You know who you are.

... miss school. Well. Mainly cause I have absolutely nooothing to do now. As much of a procrastinator I was, I really do not enjoy boredom.

But more than anything, I miss all the random moments that made so much room for whimsy, in all its glory:



I think I made this when most people were finally starting to realise how close exams were getting. Whoopsie.

But at least, there're still the little things in life. When I was hunting for Dr. Pepper in Supasave in the afternoon (and wondering why the hell they keep running out of stock so quickly and/or cursing all the people who've probably bought it by the carton, grrr) I passed by a mom and her two kids, one being about my age carrying her baby sister. As cute as little people are, I didn't really notice the kid, until Duffy's "Mercy" came on the radio, and after a few minutes, the baby started singing "yeah yeah yeah" along with the song. And this kid couldn't have been even a year old!

Funny how things like that make my day. Move over, all you child prodigies.

I do have my fair (or not) share of talents that shone through as a child. For example, did you know that I was the very first rapper in Brunei?

... on paper.

... so I'm running a little risk of losing the regularity by which some people visit this blog by the end of this post, but it's just too priceless to resist, I tell you.

Well, just to clarify things, I do have one of those blog trackers, like most other bloggers. I used to only have it to see how many real visits I had, as opposed to mere hits. Don't get me wrong, I was very surprised to see my first thousandth hit after only about a month of blogging; but then again a significant percentage of that was from me, after all, what with all the editing, posting and hulabaloo.

BUT, I must admit it does sort of have some additional fringe benefits now, seeing as that I just spotted this darling little entree:

"06/09 - 10:23:13 AM : http://www.google.com/search?client=safari&rls=en-us&q=%22macaroni%20and%20cheese%20sex%22&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8"

Yes. Someone apparently found my blog by typing in "macaroni and cheese sex" in Google. I won't disclose the IP (not that it would really matter, unless someone has more time than I do to actually want to hunt this guy down; but then again there must be weirder people than that. Or not), but not to worry, this person wasn't from Brunei.

I guess I should be more careful with the things I write in here.

But thank you, Macaroni-and-Cheese-Fetish-Man. You shall be a pivotal character, destined to be incorporated, by any means necessary, into many of my forthcoming posts (:

... what I found :D








I'd love to have one of those Rastafarian beanies. With the built-in dreads haha. I would seriously consider walking around Gadongin one of those if ever I could find it.


Anyways. I've been planning a trip to KL for quite some time now, in October. But turns out I'll be going to Taiwan again for about 10 days on the 17th of October, and be back on my birthday, on the 27th. So I've been petitioning a little discussion with my parents to let me go straight to KL, since the flight I've been taking from Taiwan to Brunei transits at KK, and the flight from KK to Brunei actually transits there before going to KL. Hopefully I'm not too old to play that "it's my birthday, can I please..." card I've never used haha. Fingers crossed, I'll be in KL for about a week, and get to spend some time with some lovely people (:

... girls make my days worth waking up for (:

On bidding for Erv's broken license plate (yes, the same girl with the headlights):

.jamie is in need of social interaction. says (11:00 PM):
hahahaha i should get the license plate

.jamie is in need of social interaction. says (11:01 PM):
im the only one out of you two who was actually IN the damn deathcab!

#29 ervy <3>
haha but u werent in the car during the accident :P

Lina says (11:01 PM):
iakan?

#29 ervy <3>
so yea it doesnt count

Lina says (11:01 PM):
so wer was zimah? did u hit her ervy?

Lina says (11:02 PM):
is she da one dat ran into u n broke ur plate?

#29 ervy <3>
haha no...

*Osveanne says (11:02 PM):
hahah death cab

#29 ervy <3>
hahaha takan sampai break my plate lau langgar orang =.=

.jamie is in need of social interaction. says (11:02 PM):
hahahaha

#29 ervy <3>
damn i speak malay

.jamie is in need of social interaction. says (11:02 PM):
im chubby, lin, but i'm not the Great Wall of China

Lina says (11:02 PM):
hahahaha

.jamie is in need of social interaction. says (11:03 PM):
i dont think she could break it on me, no matter how indestructible you think i am

... one bites the dust.

It's a shame that I haven't been writing that much, but honestly not much has been going on in my life. I have been enjoying the past few days with the Os sisters though, what with chatting with each other in the same room and watching the Brunei Cup; the Darwin All-Stars are a lovely bunch. There was a charity event by the BodyShop at the Mall last Saturday, though, to aid the prevention of domestic violence, featuring a few lomographers including Mr. Cyclone of Awesome himself. I didn't get to see my photo on the wall, but I think the people should call me in a few weeks when I can pick it up. Shame though, I had to zoom to the Indoor Stadium to watch the game, and I think I lost the daisy from it.


Anyways, fasting month starts tomorrow, which means there's about a month before good old Hari Raya, and a little less than a month before my favourite Malaysian drops by Brunei (: So happy fasting to everyone, and of course good luck to the people who'll be flying off pretty soon to UK, as well as whoever is going through the scholarship process at the moment. I stopped by the Ministry a few days ago, and I have to say I was delightfully surprised by the atmosphere in the scholarship department; it was comfortable and friendly, and in no way was I reminded of my old Ugama school teachers (which is a good thing, since the teachers back then scared me shitless). So hopefully I'll be able to qualify for a decent scholarship. Until then, I'll have to wrap up all my applications, and considering my results, I'll be applying mainly for Business or Commerce. I'd choose International Relations, but I'm really not a fan of politics. Really. The cab drivers in KL know more about politics than I do.

No, seriously, they do. They were talking to my dad about whatever scandalous thing was going on in Malaysia at the time. So thank you to them, for further breaking down any kind of stereotype I may have had.

I love macaroni and cheese. Sex in a bowl.